28.8.09

See What I Wrote Last Night...

I want you. I think that I want you. But more than I want you-i want you to want me. I want you to care. I can't stand that you don't care. I say I don't believe in games. But its not true. I'm scared of games. I'm scared that they work and I don't know how to play. I'm scared that I'm not the kind of person that is allowed to play games. I don't have that luxury. I have to fight. Or I'd never get anything. That's how I got you isn't it?

I wish I could re-live some moments. Some words you said...when you hugged me and whispered in my ear...when you laughed and fell on me and touched my hair...when you kissed me...when u looked at me...no awkward silence-just you and me...when you told me silly things about your childhood...when you danced with me...times when you told me I was crazy...when I made you laugh...when you laughed with me...when we'd talk without gaps-falling over our sentences-bcos there was so much to say...when you kissed me again...when you held me just before I fell asleep...when you said you miss me too...

Maybe it was out of our hands-maybe it was in my hands and I pushed you away-maybe it was timing-maybe it was all in my head-maybe my memory of the last time I kissed shouldn't be with you-maybe I shouldn't be your friend-maybe we'll never speak again-or you'll get back with 'her' or you're already with 'her'.maybe I shouldn't be writing this or thinking about you. Maybe I should close my eyes and dream about you. Maybe I should tell you and have u clear up the maybes.

I think its all in my head. What I feel and what u don't feel. Like I care and you don't.

All I know is I love you and I just want you to let me be the friend to you that you are to me.

Love, me.

26.8.09

I Love...

...Maya Angelou- In and out of time
*poetry is not for everyone, but this is one of the better things that Tyler Perry exposed me to*

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares to dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

24.8.09

I'm Aliiive!!

heeey!!
I'm not dead or anything
My phone wont let me update
And i'm usually too lazy to brave this sloow Nig internet
I'm in Nig!!
holla!
Thanks to all my new (and old) followers and everyone that comments
i promise i read every single blog- i'm just veeery bad at commenting, but i'll try harder
I've come to the realisation that my randomisity is maybe a problem
In the middle of a conversation i get the 'huh'??
OMG- u guys have to see the most amazing article
Has anyone read twilight and thought 'what?'
Or watched the movie and thrown up a little in their mouth because the acting was sooo bad??
Then dayum!! you have to read that article
I'll put it up asap- this is just a quick post to say 'yeh i still exist'
I'll do a proper one again like tomorrow?
xo