Happy Holidays

I hate holidays. The same way I hate birthdays and graduation. There's just this over-whelming sense of 'have fun' that makes me feel under pressure. I just want to chill. I was going to spend Christmas alone, but apparently that's a no-no. Answering the question 'what are you doing'? was met with gasps and invitations to random family lunches. On Christmas day, I had a stomach-ache. I just wanted to spend my whole day in bed with a hot water bottle. But I smiled and helped with food and made conversation and called people, because that's what you do on Christmas day. Truthfully, I'm glad it's over and I can't wait to settle into the new year.

What's up with this snow? I'm so frigging bored of it right now. I want heat. I want to dress for summer. I want to go outside and not slip on ice. I want my fingers to not feel like they are falling off after 10 minutes. Sigh.

I clearly need love in my life. Maybe the fat guy that comes down the chimney (not that I have one, but I'm sure he uses windows too) left me a belated present. Love in the new year.

Of Everybody

What is with this concept of everybody? If you've ever studied sociology or any such behavioural module, you'll notice that the concept of 'everybody' is very important. Because everybody creates social norms and from a really young age, we are taught that to follow what is accepted by 'everybody' is what is right and good, and if you're not like everybody, you're crazy. In fact, there's increasing research from behavioural economics that shows that parents and parenting have little to do with the way a child turns out and in fact peer group and society has more to account for actions of kids. 'Everybody'.

Imagine the struggle against racism without Martin Luther King Jr or South African history without Nelson Mandela. This concept of 'everybody' really bugs me, because one person can effect a massive change that sometimes everybody cannot do. Hitler started a frigging war. This Jewish man successfully brainwashed people into thinking that all Jews were bad! He was Jewish for goodness sake!! But still- this one person was so powerful that in two years he had murdered thousands and thousands of people. One person. Do you know that one person invented bin bags? Yes, its crazy, but one man did it- black bin bags, and today bin bags are a natural part of the kitchen. One person.

I use these popular examples because I need everyone to think about being someone. One person. Have you ever thought your idea was crazy because it wasn't what everyone did? Our daily lives are guided by 'everybody' principles. Anyone that thinks differently has a negative label- 'hippy', 'conspiracy theorist', etc.

Forget biblical moral principles- 'everybody' created another one. So now yes, sex is not bad, but if you have sex and collect something afterwards- that's different. It's prostitution. Now I'm not debating sex, in fact I'm veering off topic. This is my point: don't be stuck in the mind-frame of 'everybody'. Don't be afraid to test out your crazy idea. Live your life the way YOU believe it should be. Ignore some rules and make your own. At the end of the day, it's your happiness that matters. Be selfish- think like SOMEBODY and believe me, if you believe in something hard enough and long enough, other people would start believing too.

Dear Life...

Hi. Do you enjoy chilling? Do you like spending your days doing nothing? Good. I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far, because it's not happening anymore. Today is the first day of the new era. No, we are NOT waiting for the first of January because today is as good a day as any. How do you feel looking back and realising that so much time has passed without you doing ANYTHING!

Well life, its not happening anymore. Kiss Lazy goodbye.

Love.

It was my birthday...

...yesterday. I spent most of the last year for other people. Crying, obsessing, moulding myself to be something for someone else. This year is for me. Selfish. Because what better time to be selfish than your twenties?

It was my graduation...today. Now I have no excuse to bum around anymore. I need to get off my cute backside and develop some focus in my life!

Too Much Information (sidebar- no edit)

The first time information proved to be negative was in the garden of eden when Adam and Eve ate fruit from the tree of knowledge. They realised they were naked- but get this- they weren't any more or less naked than they were before they ate the fruit. But suddenly they were aware and ashamed about something that was ignorant bliss before.

Information is over-rated. We feel like we need to know everything about everything. You can't be friends with someone if you don't 'know' them. In your relationship, you have to 'know'. We are suddenly programmed to like, to accept, to be happy only AFTER we know.

Ask anyone- would you like to know if your partner was cheating? A resounding majority will say 'yes'. But why? because that implies the person is a lying bastard. It's the ultimate betrayal of trust. But get this- before you knew, you were happy. Completely happy. And you trusted the person completely. You didn't always know where they were or what they were doing, but you slept well at night. Your relationship was perfect. Then you 'know' and then your relationship breaks up, your heart breaks and your faith in humans is tainted. And off course, knowledge becomes your watch word. Next time, you want to know.

I don't know if I can ever revert to the person that didn't need to 'know'everything. But unfortunately, I do. And let me tell you what i've figured. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is happiness. And no ignorance doesn't make you stupid. It gives you peace of mind, it makes you sleep at night. It may not be the 'right' way to think. But which would you rather be? Right or happy. Oh wait- I know what you think, why can't you be right AND happy? Because were always searching for happiness. It's always going to happen at some point. When you're in the right relationship, when you finish your course, when you find THE ONE. But happiness should be now. I've not always been with people that wanted to marry me, but i've been with people that treated me better than engaged people. But off course why would I be happy with someone that didn't see me as their future?

It's the inflated self- worth perpetuated mainly by girls. 'he's not worth it', 'abeg you need someone to treat you better'. But on balance, when you're with someone what's important? All the bad things they do? (because we all do bad things) or whether or not it would lead to marriage or that you're happy at that particular time?

And the person that thinks like this is who i am. The person that starts looking for all the reasons why the person i'm with is wrong is who I become after I talk to my friends.

So in business- maybe knowledge is good. But in relationships, maybe its better to walk around naked without realising that you're naked, than to hastily sew together leaves to cover yourself so you can subscribe to the happiness that comes after knowledge.

Love...on TV

Love on tv is always so simple. It's a feeling that doesn't have to be based on anything concrete. Heck, its a feeling that doesn't have to be based on anything. Just well positioned 30 seconds here and there with their faces in close proximity and hey! Love.

Maybe that's why I love rom-coms. Some people like stories about vampires and wizards. I like stories about love. It's all fantasy right?

I don't know what love is. I don't know if I've felt it. And no- don't say if you have you know, because I've been with many people that felt like the centre of my universe at the time. They had my heart, head, entire being until they didn't. Does that still qualify?

When people last forever. Is it because of love? or is it just a combination of various factors like say timing- or just the desire to make an effort?

I don't know. All I know is I love love on TV.