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Happy Holidays!

What Happens When The Piano Stops Playing? On Religion.

People cry in church. Like honest to God, bawling their eyes out. People jump and shout and run around. I don't know. I feel like a huge part of church is theatrics. It's the music...the sermon in dramatic tones! Everything is dramatic. It's like playing a love song in the background everytime you tell your girlfriend you love her.

I get it. That emotions run high 'in the presence of God'. That's another thing, people always emphasise God's presence on Sunday mornings when people are dressed up and there's a piano playing. Maybe it's like seeing your favorite artiste at a live concert...your emotions tend to run a bit high. I don't really do concerts, so I'm not sure.

I don't know, sometimes I feel cheated in church. I feel like I want to see everything stripped back. I want to see how people feel the love of God when the piano stops playing. I want to hear the sermon in tones that aren't modulated in a way to force people to listen.

I just want to see how much of it is real.

How much of it do people remember and feel after the closing prayer?

That's all I want to know.

I realised that it wasn’t who he was that kept me going back for answers. It was who I was. It was me blending in with all the nameless girls that had been in and out of his head. People that didn’t makek it into his history. Girls that carried hurt that he dismissed as ‘stuff that happens’. I knew he valued history. I knew that because he had told me his history. One with names and faces and wistfulness. His history painted him honest, if not perfect. I didn’t count on the fact that some people carried bits of him in their history and he didn’t make it into theirs. I wanted to have a place…a face…a name. I wanted to be etched deeply into his history and repeated often in the stories to come. But reality had me down as the parts of the past that didn’t even exist. He was in mine, but I was just ‘stuff that happens’.

The Friend Zone

There is nothing wrong with the friend zone. I know for many people, it's seen as the signal of death to any meaningful (read emotional) relationship, but realistically, it doesn't have to be. What's better than a relationship with someone who you get on with completely and honestly. Too often, when relationships take the direct route without a proper friendship first...it can last! It can be fun...it can last forever...but it's just not the same as a relationship with your friend.

I think the friend zone is only really strict when theres absolutely absolutely no chance of physical attraction. This usually happens when the person is just totally unattractive. They are not cute...They don't have an amazing body...they are just well below average. It's in circumstances like this that the friend zone can be well and truly useful.

I read an article about how negative it is to be the 'bottom bitch'...that is, you're always there for someone...but they keep choosing other people. Guys can be bottom bitches too...however, I feel it's an unfair assessment of why bottom bitches finish last. Bottom bitches don't finish last because they would 'ride or die'...They finish last because they don't prioritise themselves. Selflessness is up there with fairy dust. You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself (or at least you should)...so ALWAYS putting someone's needs before yours is silly. And for what? The hope that one day they'll realise that they love you? That negates from the selfless angle a bit actually.

In any situation, honesty is key. You have to be honest with yourself...don't become a version of yourself that suits someone else...That leads to you being demeaned in someone else's eyes. Always, always, always put yourself first! There's a time and place for putting your partner before you...and dating is not that time!

Venus vs Mars

Opposites attract but similar stay together. Don't argue, just accept it. Relationships are hard enough without disagreeing with someone on fundamental tenets of life. Similar doesn't mean the same...it means similar. Most importantly, that you agree on the important things. Don't fool yourself into thinking that the fact that someone doesn't like kids while you see yourself having 15 kids in quick succession isn't important...it is. Nothing is important in the first glow of 'love/lust/infatuation'...Even lack of conversation can seen romantic. But as I grow older, i'm realising that honestly, clichés about relationships exist because they are mostly true. Exceptions are exceptions. Don't live life expecting to be the exception. Live your life trying to be happy. Do you know what will make you happy? Being with someone from the same planet as you!