The Rebound

The whole world is just one big rebound.

You don't get the job you want...so you apply for another.

You see a nice dress in the sale but they don't have it in your size...so you buy another.

So is rebound a dirty word in relationships?

Why should you take time to dwell on the past in order to 'move on'?

Sometimes I don't even know where people get these ideals from. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A REBOUND. Generally. In specific situations, people need time to learn how to trust-etc. But generally, a rebound relationship is perfectly fine.

So stop crying on your sofa, watching rom-coms.

Rebound.

Whatever Will Be, Will Be.

I don't believe in fairytales. You know the one that tells you that if you act like a princess long enough, you'll find your prince charming? Better still- the ones that tell you that you don't HAVE TO be a princess yourself because prince charming really likes regular flawed girls. This is what I believe.

It's never about you. people think that if they are funny and interesting, then they will snag some guy. Guess what? Loads of people are funny and interesting, and in the big scheme of things, funny and interesting is an infinitesimal part of things. You know the difference between someone listening to what you had for lunch and how you nearly tripped over a stone and someone who doesnt care? Yep. The fact that they don't care. Your personality doesnt come first. Emotions do. Contrary to popular belief, your personality doesnt influence emotions as much as you like to think they do. Infact, physical attraction is probably way way way higher up the list- because our minds convince our hearts of what is right in the end.

So don't fuss too much about being something that you think will make you attractive. Just be yourself- because in the end...whatever will be, will be.

Staying

There's a lot to be said for staying.

Isnt that what God does?
Yes- in everything relating to how much we should take...I reference God.

Basically, we can do anything- and as long as we can appreciate that we were wrong, we can start over.

How come with humans, it's all 'I forgive you but...'

'But we can never be friends again'

'But I can never trust you again'

'But this kind of behaviour is unacceptable'

There are too many conditions. Staying is weak or stupid or just against the general principle of life.

But why?

I'm not a stayer and it's the people who act the worst that comment on the fact that I'm always looking for an opportunity to run away. So obviously, I put what they say down to bullshit...like how can you add badly and then be-grudge me for running away?

But when I think about it...staying means something. Staying is something we don't try enough.

I don't mean staying when you might end up dead.

Or staying when the only way you can sleep is sleeping pills.

Or staying when your betrayal is too deep to stay and forgive.

Or staying when you're.just.not.happy.

You know what? I was wrong...leaving is definitely how it's supposed to be.

A STORY

She looked at the knife on the table like she was looking from outside. Then she realised that she actually was looking from outside. He was crying into his hands. Her lifeless body was folded across the chair. Her favorite zara top slashed where he cut when he attacked.

He didn't mean to.

Even as she looked at her own lifeless body, she felt sympathy for him. He was only acting out of anger. He loved her. He didn't mean to.

She moved closer as he moved closer, wishing he could reverse time. He whispered her name- she thought shouting would be a better way to get to her, but maybe that was just her- she was getting bored with the scene. She missed him already. Then she missed her body because apparently ghosts couldn't cry.

Was she even a ghost?

She sat on the arm of the chair. She still seemed able to sit- certainly not what the movies made you believe.

She wondered for the first time what she was still doing next to her body. Surely she should be moving quickly up or down. What's it going to be God...am I burning or becoming an angel?

He would never hold her again...She felt sad just looking at him. She loved him so much.

She looked at her body. He was looking for bin bags to wrap her in. Noone was going to find out. There was no way he was going to get away with killing her. Even by mistake.

Or was he?

He killed her. She had been looking but not really seeing.

HE. KILLED. HER.

And it didn't matter if he meant to do it or not. she was STILL dead.

She panicked. 'I hate you'

In that moment, he saw her and screamed. The look of terror on his face gave her as much satisfaction as you could feel when you were watching you get stuffed into a cheap bin bag.

He would never forget.

Then again. She would never live.

She started to fade from the scene.

Oh no..what now?

THE END.

THANK YOU

I just want to say thank you to all my followers. Old and new. This blog is extremely selfish and often self-centered and I don't say thank you enough. I PROMISE I go on every single one of your blogs if you follow or comment.

To further my appreciation, I want your submissions. As most of you can tell, I tend to be pretty obsessed with love and relationships. So if you have an experience you want to share, some advice or something you want me to write about- email- sexywriterchic (at) gmail (dot) com

It doesn't have to be long or short- it can be ANYTHING. I would especially love to hear your personal experiences with emotional stuff.

I look forward to hearing your voices for a change.

xx

I think most of us have felt what being in love feels like without actually being in love. You know those crazy feelings with infatuation or lust or a really crazy crush...the thing is those feelings, they don't last. That's the difference...I think. Until I fall in love, I won't know for sure.

Isn't it funny how we're different things to different people? Like to some people I'm this enthusiastic happy person and to some people I'm cold. Neither of them is wrong. People just bring out different parts of you.

It's funny how little I have to lose and how scared I still am. Right now I have nothing. No I can lose nothing. But yet, I can't seem to propel myself forward. I'm still scared.

What happens when I have a lot to lose?

What then?

The Never-Ending Puzzle Called Love

I've always been baffled about the different definitions of love. Not different shades or elements, but different definitions. And then when I finally get past the many definitions, then comes the types. The love you have for family, and then the love you have for friends. The love you have for a bag of crisps and the kind you can be in.

If love is so undefinable, then why do we bother to define it. How do we make up all these rules for the things love isn't, when we don't actually know what it is.

If this passionate 'in love' love trumps all other kinds of love, why is the one kind of love than can release someone from it's clutch 'i fell out of love'. But I guess that's what happens when you fall into anything- because falling screams 'mistake'...'i didnt mean it to happen'. I've always hated 'i don't know how it happened' . Like fainting- it always seems so sudden, but there's nothing sudden about it. The day I fainted, I was aware I was going to faint, I knew it was the aftermath of my lightheadedness and I sort of gradually went out. To the outside world, it was much faster- to me it was a long process. I think in life as well, there's a lot more responsibility to be had for actions and emotions. Its easy to just let go and go with the flow, but I think you should ever ever go with the flow, if you know where it's going. Don't just stay on a river that might or might not end up where you want to be.

Anyway...what was I saying? Love. What is it?

If green can just be blue sometimes, is there a point having a blue? Or a green?

Why is capri-sun so tasty?

I have a few more questions

Why is pasta so tasty?

Why is ribena so tasty?

Why is chocolate cake so tasty?

Why is it so hard to learn another language?

Why is it so easy to be lazy?

Why does it take days to put on weight and weeks to lose it?

I coincidentally started a new exercise regime on the first of the month! I didn't even realise, although my body was being very persuasive in getting me to put on trainers. Even though running 4.41 miles in two days made my body hurt all over (the joys of being unfit), I still chomped down half a chocolate cake in said two days. I still drool thinking about that cake...it was delicious! I might never make another type of chocolate cake again (hmmm...actually since i found that recipe, I haven't baked any other type).

Learning French is so frigging hard. But I WILL BE A FRENCH SPEAKER BEFORE I DIE meme si elle me tue.

I've been thinking...the angel and demon are equal right now. I'm as healthy as I am unhealthy. I'm as lazy as I am hardworking. I have to find a way to tip the scales.

Being broke and spotty just doesn't really work.

I'm scared that I don't know how to write anymore. Maybe it's wanting something so bad, you're scared that you won't get it.

I wonder if you can train your brain to be positive? So you stop saying negative things and then eventually your brain catches up and stops thinking negative things.

I always thought my french would improve immensely by being around people I can speak it to...it hasn't. If anything, it's probably worse.

I don't write personal things anymore. I don't even think personal thoughts anymore. I think i'm trying to move away from this self-absorbtion. The world is not trying to be more difficult for me, by focusing my energy on thinking about things that are hard...i'm just stopping myself from thinking on how always be better. I listened to this business podcast that said that everytime you reflect on something negative that has happened, you re-live it again. So when i start thinking bad things, i say to myself...the only thing that's happening now is *insert whatever i'm doing*. It sounds so silly but it really does work. But maybe all it does is supress my feelings. I guess i'll find out.

I really have nothing to complain about. I'm busy all the time, but I enjoy everything I do and I have a life plan in place. I can always do better...but can't we all?

For some reason, my grammar is completely off. I don't know why.

xxx

Forgiveness is a funny thing. I'm not sure I even know what it means. I often think of the way God gives us forgiveness and His forgiveness is unconditional conditioned on the premise that we acknowledge that we need to be forgiven. So basically, it's not automatic.

In real life, that's kind of hard. People don't walk around saying 'ive wronged you and I need to be forgiven.' They are more likely to say 'im right and you're wrong sucker- deal with it', so how exactly does it work. I've heard this 'forgiveness is more for you than for the other person' and I guess it's true to an extent...but really?

And then do you really forget? If you still treat someone based on their past actions...have you actually forgiven them?

Can you just wipe the slate clean and act like they never did that thing? In essence the kind of forgiveness we expect from God?

Or is it just beneath our human capability?

Can you really forgive someone that doesnt want forgiveness? That doesnt deserve forgiveness and not feel a massive pit of resentment?

I really just dont know