Boy Blues

I've always thought i was quite attractive. Infact, people constantly comment on the said fact. However, all that attractiveness, charming personality and etc..seems to be lost on all creatures of the opposite sex. Recently, ive started to think that not getting married is not the worst thing in the world(although im not looking at marriage for a couple of years yet). Everytime i meet someone that i think...'hmm'..its as if a force goes into overdrive to make sure that there is NO possiblity that we would even be friends. This is not to say that noone is ever 'intrigued' by me. its just that its not mutual. I dont know. Maybe im shallow. Maybe its karma. And maybe one day i'll be willing to settle. But right now, its baffling. What went wrong?

Finally! i've decided to leave my ex alone. Maybe i finally realise that ex means he doesnt want to be your friend. Ex also means you wont get back together. Ex means he doesnt still like you. Ex means he's over you. I saw a theory somewhere 'if you keep going back to your ex, it means you have nothing to look forward to'..or some wise philosophy like that. Maybe its true. After him, i havent been in a proper relationship..but i havnt been all single either. But when any of them does something that makes me sigh..i automatically think of him. Wel, maybe a first step would be to STOP looking at his page on facebook. Facebook was created for people like me to stalk! Andi finally realise that YES..IT IS STALKING..if you go on someone's page and read their wall to wall with someone you don't know. It is stalking..if you add someone that you havnt met to check whats happening between them(she was the ex he was with for longer than me..and we had like 40 mutual friends)..ok no excuse!

Finally, i don't actually understand why some people see me the way they do. I think sometimes i give off a slightly 'slutty' impression..which couldnt be farther from the truth. I don't understand how i give off this impression. It's just evident in the things that people sometimes say to me. It is a ver worrying impression. I'm trying my hardest to be 'the Jesus people see'..but evidently..im not trying hard enough..if what people see is the adultress that Jesus saved from stoning.

xx