30.7.08

Laziness

Ok. I'm actually going to post. It might be long or short...i'm just going to follow my train of thought.

So...first of all..i want to thank blogville for their love!!lol

I'm lazy. Now thats ok when it comes to cleaning my room and stuff...because really..im the one that has to live with the results of my laziness...but ive realised that in making decisions..i usually take the easy way out. Like last weekend..i was staying alone in a hotel (the reason for this is long winded)..i call up a copule of my friends in this state..(i was in another state)...anyway i call up this particular person that i had 'something' with last summer. So he comes over..quite late.maybe like half 11. It would be good to point out that i have no feelings for him...im too hung up on Foil.

So anyway...he comes over. We are just hanging out and all... then he starts trying stuff..i would like to describe the process of one thing leading to another..but this blog isnt exactly private..so i'd rather not.But anyway..this is me saying 'leave me alone'..it probably didnt help that i was laughing (thats the way i am..i laugh even when im deadly serious)..maybe i should have just kicked him out..but im not dramatic like that! so eventually i gave in..kissed him and he went on his way. ..he wanted us to meet up again..but somehow..i thought i shouldnt. Now how does this relate to me being lazy..well..i always take the easy option..the lazy part of my brain just says ú might as well'..now this also exhibits in other areas of my life...like breaking up instead of trying, shutting up instead of getting my point across articulately..etc..I think i might do something about this..Realising the problem is half of the solution right???

I've kind of forgotten how ruthless nigerian guys can be in chasing a person..as in really..i find people that follow me in their cars quite rude...

Foil- hmmm..somehow i dont know...maybe i do like people i cant get..i keep thinking ím never going to find anyone like him'...but really..i can probably say that of most of the people ive been with...then i think do i want to find someone that is so closed up...someone that u know so much about and think that u know nothing at all..someone has such a thick mask of politeness that you can never tell what the hell they really think! U know how we always think that people should be more poilte? I really think we shouldnt be. Sometimes its our natural human nature to turn towards rude tendencies and we shouldnt supress it because sometimes thats the only way to actually figure out what people REALLY feel. Its hard to know that someone will always talk to you..they will return your calls and reply ypur texts..they would be pleasant..they will ask about u and remember stuff uve talked about before..they will listen and give advice..they wil be warm and responsive to ur questions..but you can never tell whether it is just because they are polite or if they really mean it!

Now i'm sure you're wondering what the hell im on about and thinking 'someoone cannot be that nice if they dont mean it'...u dont know foil.

Minky!!! have u stopped blogging because of the hijack???

Wow..so much to say..so much to say...but somehow the zeal to write it..to put it in words is hard.i hope i get over this temporary block soon..and get back to proper blogging!!

Before anyone asks...I AM FINE!!! lol!

xx

28.7.08

Its crazy..

Its crazy
i'm crazy about you

Cant imagine, you imagine, i feel how i do

The feeling i get from looking in your eyes
Then you look away, i sigh, i wanna cry

I want you, so badly
cant you see??

You amaze me, confuse me, make me laugh
Then destroy me, sadden me
I almost want to die

It's crazy im crazy about you
Cant imagine, you imagine i feel like i do.

ps- for all that come to read substance, not cheesy poetry..i promise to blog soon!!

xx

13.7.08

I wish...

I wish i was still ignorant of hypocrisy
whispered words and righteous faces

I wish i was still ignorant of heartbreak
shattered hearts and sleepless nights

I wish i was still ignorant of loneliness
alone in a crowded room

I wish i was still ignorant
alone in an empty womb.