Yay- My short story got published on bellanaija

http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/11/25/bn-prose-by-dami-o-no-boys/

'famzing'

The thing I dont get about social networking is this- let's use twitter: you sign up and leave your account open (given that you have the option to restrict followers) and then you get mad at 'random' people that follow you. What did you leave it open for? Ok fair enough some weirdos exist and everything- but I don't think someone gets to be labelled a loser because they happened to find you funny.

I see it in a lot of social interaction- in person and online and I'm sorry to say mainly among Nigerians. I would like to make the social change- but hey! Who likes to be called a familiar loser behind their back?

Thank you guys for the concern on my last post! It was something I found on my phone and hadn't posted. It's apparent that I think a hell of a lot. I'm not always sad though. I'm actually a pretty happy person. I'm not cynical- wait actually maybe a little. It's just early 20s are when everythings so hard. So many decisions to make. There's a way the world tells you things are supposed to go- but theres a way you want them to go. Then you wonder if you're being stupid because you are the only one in the world that has the opinion you do. But overwhelmingly, theres this fear that everything is going to go wrong. And you're scared to try because if you don't try, then at least it's out of your control.

You won't be successful.

You will be 35 and single.

You will be married and not able to have kids.

You will be in a relationship that makes you unhappy.

You won't make as much money as you want.

You will be alone.

It's easier to say 'let go' than to actually do it. Sometimes you have to make that conscious effort every hour.

'Let go. Don't try to control things you can't control. All you can do is all you can do. The anticipation is always worse. Don't care what anyone says if you're truly happy. Don't ask everyone for advice. Sometimes there's no right or wrong answer. It's just life. Let go. Live. Breathe. Let go.'

Smile.

They see me smile. That's what I want them to see. Or maybe that's what they want to see. Who wants to explore the inner sorrows-hidden pains. Who wants to see you weep when they can watch you smile. Smile with you. Happy. We're all happy. My laughter is loud. As loud as the voice in my head. The one that screams 'you're lonely' 'you're a fake'. The one that tells me to break down-or give up, but do something. Something, anything. Stop the pretence-why are u living a lie. Who cares if they see you break down-if u wear your pain on ur sleeve. Now introducing-the summer line called depression. I care-they care. Noone wants to be put through that. Uncomfortable silences and empty 'aaws' 'I get it'. No you don't. Why should you. Why do I still expect it.

Smile. Plaster it. Layer it thick. Smile-thru the pain. Smile. It doesn't matter how you feel-what they see. Just smile.