26.7.10

The 30 Day Challenge

Here's the deal- im lazy. Like super lazy. Like if you looked up the word in the dictionary, my name would be there with a picture. I am incredibly lazy. Ok- im sure now you get the drift. And quite honestly, im pretty sick of it. I'm well versed in the art of chatting shit and making it sound good, so over the years i've spun a variety of excuses to justify how lazy I am- how little i'm doing with my life. But now the excuses are starting to sound feeble to my ears, and even though, they've sounded like that to other people for a while, now that I can hear it- I HAVE to do something. I'm 21. Im not going to go into some sort of 'i'm old' panic, because i'm still pretty young. However, I'm not a baby anymore and there's noone telling me how to live my life anymore- so I have to make some changes. And this is where the 30 day challenge comes in.

Have you ever heard that long thing that says 'your actions become habits and habits become character...'. Well I hope there's some truth there because I read somewhere else that it takes about 30 days for an action to become a habit. So the 30 day challenge is about doing things for 30 days that I would like to become habits and then those habits can make me a better person and actually make my life a little more worthwhile.

So here we go:

1. Exercise everyday- I pretty much do this already, theres no harm in reinforcing it tho.

2. Sleep Early, Wake up early- I've never read a success story that started with 'I used to roll out of bed at noon- whatever time I wanted really'. This sleep thing is really something I want because a good night's sleep for me is the exception, not the norm. I wake up a lot and it's hard to get to sleep in the first place. But maybe if I force my body into some kind of submission, sleeping would be easier.

3. Write everyday- I do this already actually, but the way i've been doing it is not going to get me published. I need to start being disciplined and write even when i'm not 'inspired', even when I don't feel like, then maybe I can actually start something and finish.

4. To that end, i'm blogging everyday.

5. 6 hours of dissertation (at least) daily. This is a no- brainer really, I'm not exactly trying to fail my masters.

6. No baggage- by this I mean, no wasting my time with people that are not going to give back what I give. So i'm not going to be calling the friend that often forgets to return calls, and instead call the ones whose calls I forget to return. It's kind of ironic how we (humans) love to make life more complex, more painful for ourselves that it needs to be. We ignore happiness in search of pain and rejection. Well me I dont want- because pain, sadness, all that bad stuff actually seeps into other areas of your life, makes you less productive. It's the reason why sometimes I just want to sleep for 3 hours in the daytime or watch some movie ive seen many times before. Happiness takes practice, but with happiness, the need to escape grows less and with no need to escape, you find other productive things to do with your time.

7. Job Applications daily- the earlier financial independence starts, the more successful, you are likely to be. (this is my commonsense logic- feel free to disagree)

I think 7 things is plenty. There are ONLY 24 hours in a day. Today I woke up early, i've gone for a run, ive blogged- therefore I have written. 30 day challenge? This is going to be a breeze.

ps- I know im not the only bum in blogsphere- so go on- start your own 30 day challenge!

xxx

11.7.10

What if you cant have it all? What if they lied to us? Our parents- the motivational speakers- our friends- movies- books- life. What if everything was a lie? What if you cant have it all? This perfectly rounded, world accepted view of happiness and contentment. Of right and wrong. I'm sure if we ask the 53 year old single woman who divorced her husband when she was 36 because he cheated on her, she might agree that infidelity is not the ultimate crime and even if it was- being alone night after night is a bigger crime. Because how can we expect perfect happiness when we are ourselves imperfect? How can we give perfect love when we ourselves do not have the ability to be perfect.

Maybe 'perfect' is too strong a word, because many would say that they dont strive for perfection- they strive for contentment. Contentment then. At what point do you choose to accept being content, without feeling like you're settling. At what point do you say- this is what I need, so im going to stop. Its like life is like a game of deal or no deal. You decide early on that once you get enough money to pay your mortgage, or pay for a holiday or have that surgery, you would accept the bankers offer and walk away. But then the banker offered you an amount you thought you could be content with, and you go on playing anyway because those numbers on the board taunt you- tell you that you CAN have more. And sometimes you do get more. But just as often, you dont. But how do YOU know when to stop. Whats the meter that you get in your head or heart that tells you- no more. Be content. Let go. Stop hoping. Let go. Let go.

Because the truth is there is no meter. You have to decide. Theres no having it all. You choose what you can cope with. You prioritise. You can have some. Then at some random point (which isnt pre-determined, which you have to decide) you decide- this is enough. And it is at that point that 'enough' becomes 'all'.

Life is hard.