What is it about retrospect that makes it so much clearer than the present?
Is it actually clearer? Or do memory and imagination connive to create a clear picture in order to move on?
Like the realisation that something you believed at the time was real actually had no substance...actually couldn't have worked.
How come you start to see clearly- never being let in. Never knowing names and places and events. Never really being anything but a voice on the other side of the phone. A train station fantasy. A practise run for what to say...how to behave.
The present makes you believe things that arent true. Attaches too much importance to meaningless things. Words and smiles and feelings...that fade away. The present doesn't care about substance...it cares about happiness. Even if that happiness is false. It cares about laughter...it's all about the deceit...because the present has too much 'hope' and 'optimism' and wants so badly to 'believe'.
Retrospect is real. When the words and the smiles peel away. What's left...that's real. That's retrospect.