28.8.09

See What I Wrote Last Night...

I want you. I think that I want you. But more than I want you-i want you to want me. I want you to care. I can't stand that you don't care. I say I don't believe in games. But its not true. I'm scared of games. I'm scared that they work and I don't know how to play. I'm scared that I'm not the kind of person that is allowed to play games. I don't have that luxury. I have to fight. Or I'd never get anything. That's how I got you isn't it?

I wish I could re-live some moments. Some words you said...when you hugged me and whispered in my ear...when you laughed and fell on me and touched my hair...when you kissed me...when u looked at me...no awkward silence-just you and me...when you told me silly things about your childhood...when you danced with me...times when you told me I was crazy...when I made you laugh...when you laughed with me...when we'd talk without gaps-falling over our sentences-bcos there was so much to say...when you kissed me again...when you held me just before I fell asleep...when you said you miss me too...

Maybe it was out of our hands-maybe it was in my hands and I pushed you away-maybe it was timing-maybe it was all in my head-maybe my memory of the last time I kissed shouldn't be with you-maybe I shouldn't be your friend-maybe we'll never speak again-or you'll get back with 'her' or you're already with 'her'.maybe I shouldn't be writing this or thinking about you. Maybe I should close my eyes and dream about you. Maybe I should tell you and have u clear up the maybes.

I think its all in my head. What I feel and what u don't feel. Like I care and you don't.

All I know is I love you and I just want you to let me be the friend to you that you are to me.

Love, me.

6 comments:

RocNaija said...

Like being stuck in a time warp huh?

Splash said...

oh, heart matter!
when e go end?

doll said...

hmm

Buttercup said...

Wow, so heartfelt :(. Missed ya, boo!

uNWrItten* said...

wow uve got it bad luv...this is sad, hope your better

akaBagucci said...

i wonder how much of this he/she knows though.. sometimes its a case of the other party not knowing.. or lacking the 'green lights' to make a move..