Lying to one's self. That's the biggest crime isn't it? self- deceit. In Dante's poem he said that basically the highest level of hell is for those that lie to themselves. But if that's true, isn't that where everyone ends up? Because we all lie to ourselves. Sometimes repeatedly. Sometimes, it's just that one lie. That one big lie that we've told ourselves so long that it's practically become the truth.

I lie to myself. A lot. But Off course when you lie, you have to invent a whole long-winded bullshit theory to go with your lie. I have so many bullshit theories, I wonder which of them is based on lie and which has any basis in truth or actual belief.

Like morality is over-rated? What does that even mean. Morality is morality. Morality is necessary and the only people that think it's over-rated are people that are immoral. It's funny how when I want to justify my theories, I go to extremes and talk to people that I would condemn on a normal day. Suddenly, i'm spilling stuff about humans being imperfect and other people being judgmental and how noone should point fingers. Bullshit basically.

I know in a twisted way, we need to lie to ourselves sometimes. If only to maintain sanity. However, I want to stop lying to myself. First, about my expectations. I expect more. I deserve more. I need to stop lying to myself that mediocre is enough, because it isn't. So in the interest of putting things to paper in order to overcome them:

Lies I tell myself and often believe:
1. I don't believe in relationships- yes. relationships are hard. People act like nastier versions of themselves. Pain is intensified by 5000. It's hard to believe, when so many people choose to act like dicks in general. In all honesty, I do. It's the reason I watch One Tree Hill for goodness sake. That show is all love and cheese. I believe whole-heartedly in relationships, and I believe that once I stop choosing dicks, I'll have a chance at being in one.

2. Morality is over-rated. Everytime I spit this line, check- i'm probably doing something immoral. In life there IS black and white and while the lines blur on occasion, and people usually have justifications for doing bad things. There is morality. It just exists and over-rated or not, something bad is something bad.


Red Sapphire said...

i think i love you already....i cant stop laughing...u crack me up real good in a very good way i must say...let me keep on reading

Rita said...

You must be very humorous...especially for your number 2 lie u tell urself....

I really like the honesty of your posts...