24.10.09

he wrote me this...

am awake and its 12 am,all is quet and still and darkness fills the land i want you,i know i want younot for now but for all time, ive carried a candle waiting for you i dont know why, cant explain, dont want a rational analysis. your lips taste different,a faint lingering memeory that refuses to go. is it wrong to think of another when with someone? i dont kno you tell me, cos thats is how it is with me, thinking of you, how her should be you, thinking of many things. im hurt a lil when u speak of others with affection,i am happy when you are happy, i wish 'her' was you, but i am afraid, of you and the power you hold over me, i am crazy,'her is the available that became the desirable that has become the past. theres a lot i am not saying not because i dont want to but because i dont know how you would take it,  one thing i dont do is games especially with you, cos i value u more thand mind tricks and all. i dont kno what you want in a partner, what you desire deep deep down, i want to share. i know one thing though i love you. not like you a lot or think you are cool and  fun to be with, , just love pure and simple. i know about fighting, i have to fight for every thing, and im sure you know how hard it is.   im tired of keeping it all in, maybe thats why now im leting you know how it is, showing you a little of whats hidden deep down. now im fighting for you but in my own way. im not limiting myself anymore, just lettting it all out. i want to be the one that makes your heart beat faster and more. for now i am content with being your friend, even though i want more. i waited a long time to do this too long,cos i dont know how you would take it or even how we would be after this. now im not hidding it, im letting it all out please dont push me away, this is a start, maybe you would forgive me for all the unsaid words, all these years. i am waiting for you, still, patient, untiring, counting the days until.................please dont make me wait for too long love me, for who i am what i represent ......... love me, for i love you So maybe now you know a lil bit, theres still more, much more. tonight i shall dance with you in my arms as if today was my last day, and hold you close.

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