I love unsuitable men. Point me to a commitment-phobe-sweet-talking-likely to cheat-and therefore lie- you're fun but I'll never fall in love with you guy and I'll hurl into his arms with beyonce's 'why don't you love me' playing in the background.
I know. It's a complete cliché. I'm not alone. But I think there's a method to my madness.
I don't believe in relationships. On any given day, I can pick an aspect of relationships that I resolutely don't believe in and break it down, analyse it and explain with charts and graphs why I don't believe.
Today, I'm going to settle on the more general- I don't believe in relationships.
More than I don't believe in relationships, I don't believe in myself in a relationship.
Usually, I'm a normal person. Maybe a little too loud, a bit cold, but normal. Put emotions in me and I become a crazy sabotaging psycho.
Now- if I pick an unsuitable guy who is going to mess up and leave anyway, then I can sit back in twisted satisfaction and say- 'see, its not my fault, guys always mess up and relationships are bullshit anyway.'
It's so funny how you can take yourself through unnecessary pain and drama in the interest of 'self-protection'.
Then again life is a paradox. And I've never claimed to have it all figured out.