7.10.10

I love unsuitable men. Point me to a commitment-phobe-sweet-talking-likely to cheat-and therefore lie- you're fun but I'll never fall in love with you guy and I'll hurl into his arms with beyonce's 'why don't you love me' playing in the background.

I know. It's a complete cliché. I'm not alone. But I think there's a method to my madness.

I don't believe in relationships. On any given day, I can pick an aspect of relationships that I resolutely don't believe in and break it down, analyse it and explain with charts and graphs why I don't believe.

Today, I'm going to settle on the more general- I don't believe in relationships.

More than I don't believe in relationships, I don't believe in myself in a relationship.

Usually, I'm a normal person. Maybe a little too loud, a bit cold, but normal. Put emotions in me and I become a crazy sabotaging psycho.

Now- if I pick an unsuitable guy who is going to mess up and leave anyway, then I can sit back in twisted satisfaction and say- 'see, its not my fault, guys always mess up and relationships are bullshit anyway.'

It's so funny how you can take yourself through unnecessary pain and drama in the interest of 'self-protection'.

Then again life is a paradox. And I've never claimed to have it all figured out.

4 comments:

Elusivebabe said...

I like this. :)

comedic_logic said...

interesting ... what makes you think the guy is " messing up " rather than trying to fit himself into a box , he's not going to fit into . The dissatisfaction of relationships stems from the fact that the day we drop from mothers womb , We are TOLD what relationships should be like ... we are never told to find what works for us . " Thats not how you love " " You cant this " "you cant that " ... all arbitrary rules that are DICTATED TO US . children very rarily "learn" but rather instead memorizing a bunch of conventions and the adoption of beliefs because those are the beliefs you are surrounded by . one can really suprise themself when one can objectively pick apart ALL those things that get POUNDED into our heads since birth . and TRULY decide for ourselves . whether we agree with that belief ... one of the reasons I'am now atheist.

Myne Whitman said...

I could never understand relationships and that's cos of the different personalities we have. Just do you girl...

Jason said...

Got to love drama in life.