27.1.09

Dignity

'ok please stop calling, thank you flabby'...

Nice way to start my day.

So basically i met this guy in like November. He saw my pictures on facebook and asked my friend for my number. So we started talking. Within a week he 'likes' me. Now i'm not trying to somehow judge his feelings- but i was judging his feelings. I didnt believe him, but believing him was not the point. The point was that i did not feel the same way- after all we had only just started talking, we had not even met. And so we continued to talk. Like two weeks in-he was upset if i went to sleep without calling him or if he was ill and i hadnt checked up on him. I told him that i did not understand where the obligations were coming from. He sent me a 4 page text and didnt talk to me for a week. I called him one day and we started talking again. That night he sent me another 5 page text detailing how much he missed me. The feeling of suffocation started again. To be honest i always used to think- 'dude you're 26, why are you acting like a child'. Our relationship was ok until the airport incident;

Basically, we still hadnt met and i was travelling to nig. So he says that we should meet up at the airport for like 5- 10 minutes so that he could give me 'something'. I explained to him that i was travelling with my 11 year old cousin so my auntie would want to follow us to the gate. I dont think she cares who i meet up with at the airport but my 11 year old cousin is wrapped in cotton wool. The fact that i looked like crap was neither here nor there.

So we get to the airport-late (by my aunts standards)- and my aunt rushes us through to the gate and everything. Well the departure lounge sha. I bring out my phone and i see a missed call from him. I call him back. He asks me where i am and i tell him, explaining that there would be no point of him coming. He vexes and gets off the phone. He doesnt call me again before we leave-i think i called and he didnt pick up.

I get to nig and i text him along with the other people that i want to have my number. He calls me two days later. 'do you know i was in the airport when you called?'

Two questions- why did he come to the aiport when we hadnt agreed on it?? and why didnt he tell me he was in the airport that day???

So he calls me for a couple of days. Ond day he's like- 'today i wanted to call you with my phone then i realised they had cut me off, so i went out to get a calling card to call you but i did not find one so i had to come back home and get the car to drive to kilburn to get one'...im like..'aaaw-how sweet' but in my mind im like 'WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME????'

So one day he gives me this whole i like you and you dont like me and i dont know what to do speech. I said if not talking to me will make you feel better then ill respect your decision to not do so. He then sent me a loong text detailing how it would hurt not to talk to me but it would hurt to talk to me. (let me just add here that if he had let me breathe small- i could have liked him, he was sweet)

Anyway he stopped calling. I came back to jd and called him. he was cool. I called him a couple of days later and he didnt pick up. he didnt call back either. i texted asking if we werent talking, he didnt reply. Maybe that should have been a hint- but i dont do hints. So i called him again. This time he picked up. He said he had been busy and why wouldnt we be talking. The day before his birthday i called him. He joked that he was turning 20 not 27. I texted him on his birthday-he said thankyou. I texted him the day after to ask about his birthday-he didnt reply.

A couple of days after, i talked to the friend that gave him my number. She told me about the classic ipod that he bought me. The one i made a lot of noise about in December. Then she told me his version of the airport story where off course i was the bitch!! We lamented on the loss of an ipod and i told her the airport story again. Then i called him- he didnt pick up.

that weekend, i went to London. Seeing we had never met, i called him to ask if he wanted to meet up. He didnt pick up. Then he called me and i missed it, then i called him again like twice and he didnt pick up.

Anyway he called me at 3am last night. I was asleep. I woke up to read a long text basically saying it was hard to get over you so what do you want from me? I said if he didnt want me to call he should just say so and thats when he sent me that text. The one that said 'please dont call'

In other news, on my way back from the gym yesterday (looking like a tramp) this guy stopped in his car to ask for my number (in jd again????)

So my friend said i had reduced my self dignity by calling him so many times? Do you think your dignity is determined by the number of times you call someone? Or because you prefer people to tell you things in words not actions?? So basically to the guy i have no dignity???

xxx

20 comments:

Abujamaiden said...

If you don't like him/ don't feel any remorse, move on!

Or if you talk again explain everyhting to him and how you feel honestly. I'm sure the dude is typing about you on his 'blog' about how you 'hurt' him. Two sides to the story.

Maybe you should take a break from all those caller/ texter guys.

Mista Jaycee said...

You have/had a stalker. That's stalker behavior especially since y'all just met. Flabby must just be a name cause if he saw your pic on facebook and then started calling Whew!

I would talk to my "Friend" about giving out my number.

Stop by
Mista Jaycee

Marjoram said...

Are you inerested in the guy?

Danny Bagucci said...

Dude obviously has very clingy tendencies -- which are no good for a "relationship" that has barely got off the ground.. MY take would be to just cut him off finally... Wonder how many people he's calling and texting concurrently tho....

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Girl you are giving out mixed signals
you are saying he is clingy
yet if he doesnt call
you then call
whats up with that?
I think you dont like him but you like the attention
you cant have your cake and eat it too

Nefertiti said...

MsDM, you took the words right off my finger tips. If you aren't feeling him, let him know and cut all strings.

mizchif said...

Hmmmm, very long story, but ur friend said wrong! You calledhimfor clarification,that doesn't mean u have no dignity, plus it doesn't sound like u were throwing urself at him!

27 is kinda old, why is he acting 12?

Saved Girl said...

keep it moving and stop misleading him sweetness.

Buttercup said...

wow, i almost got a headache reading this! r u sure hes not actually 17????

Beulah! said...

Eeyah!, dats what i call unnecessary stress. Guys are weird sometimes...

Dabizniz said...

Can't people just be friends it's good to talk innit?

Tiwa said...

er..d dude obviously has issues...you should have really gotten the hint when u got bk 2 jd n he wasnt txtin you back but i dnt think it has anything to do with dignity..u guys were supposed 2 b cool now so theres nothing wrong if you called him but for a guy in his position any favourable action from you would have given him hope..

btw ur hot oh! dis one ur stoppin cars while looking like a "tramp"..lol..wat wld now happen wen ur decent?? n yeah the dude stoppin you in his car phenomena does happen in jand just not as random as in nig

flabby said...

Abujamaiden-maybe i should

Mistajaycee-i think so too

Marjoram- im not interested in him!!

Danny- no need for cutting him off since he already cut me off!lol

DM- i really didnt realise that it was 'like me' or dont talk to me

Neffie-the strings have already been cut

Mizchif! i know o-as in what 27 yr old acts like that

saved girl- ive moved on love

Buttercup- yep 1 more like

Beulah- they are really weird!

Dabizniz-my thots exactly

Tiwa- really? it hapens to u? it doesnt happen to me o-thats y it seemed so random-that and the fact that i looked trampy!

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Ok that dude has way too many issues for someone that doesnt menstruate! sorry I just had to say that. But all that I like you after 1week crap irritates the mess outta me!
On the other hand, it seems like u were enjoying the attention he gave u...I won't evn lie, I've done the same thing a couple a times sha...lol!

Riri said...

Dignity ke??
you havent lost any dignity oh!
please if you had sexual relations with him then youve lost your dignity - just a few phonecalls doesnt man you have and btw no one can take your dignity away from you if it was always there and i'm sure it was always there!xoxo

Mustafa Şenalp said...

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Funms-the rebirth said...

the guy sounded creepy, uve never met and he was acting all that clingy? but i guess its ur actions too, seems u were leading him on
as per how many times u can call without losing ur dignity, i guess it depends on how comfy u feel and if the guy also returns the calls as often

Adejoh Momoh said...

I dont think the number of times you call reduces your dignity. It does seem like the both of you were a little bit clingy. Space is really important...

eclecticsoul said...

this is what's happening these days, guys are becoming such girls. i don't get why he came to the airport in the first place. calling a lot doesn't reduce your dignity cuz i guess you wanted to find out the truth, like what he really wanted, or maybe i'm just saying that cuz that's what i'd do.

*sweets* said...

i dont think it has anythng to do wit ur 'dignity'.
maybe the guy cud possibly say u were buggin him or u were all on him or sumthn along those lines *whch is possible seein as he has shown u his 16 yr old tendencies* but i doubt it...plus even if he does, who cares!
as long as u know wot u were doin...nothin wrong in tryin to clarify ish... :)