16.5.09

I'm writing you a letter...

Dear God,
I wish i could talk to you more- but i think words are words- whether or not i speak or write. Can i start by saying i miss you? I miss those easy times when all i had was faith- when you made me happy and i talked to you all the time. The times when all i did was to make you happy and doing things that upset you upset me too. This is a turbulent time- a time when I'm unsure. Suddenly, I've started to feel like I don't actually know u- who are you!? I don't want to feel like a hypocrite or to blow hot and cold- i want to be hot for you Lord. I tried to act like it didn't matter- the fact that we don't have that much of a relationship anymore. It does matter- in the morning when i wake up and at night before i go to sleep- and all the moments in between. It matters. I need you so much. But i don't want to need you without knowing you. I want to know you and i want to love you and then i want to need you. But then i realise i need you first. I need you to show me you. Then to show me how to love you. Then to let me need you.

So God i guess what I'm saying is lead me back to you- and while we're working on our relationship- can i just throw in a prayer for exam help? You know it means so much for me to not graduate average- and not just to me- to everyone else that has a stake in my life. I won't go into it Lord- i know you know.

Thank you because i know you are reading this and maybe in time the words will come more easily to me as a voice- but just for today, accept my hastily typed words.

Your daughter and your friend,
Flabby.

10 comments:

Lolia said...

God knows what we want before we even ask...So you're right, He knows and He WILL answer you...

That said...Je suis premierement! Woo!

Danny BaGucci said...

@Lolia.. Its called delayed gratification...Hehehehehe....

Guess God listens for the honest seeker - and the desires that draw us to HIm in the first place come from Him.. U'll be fine in the long run.....

Danny BaGucci said...

P.S. Good luck with the exams.....

Funms-the rebirth said...

He will definitely reveal himself.......

simeone said...

just stay there with that desire...he'll meet up with you..
He's a faithful father.

mizchif said...

Such a very honest prayer.

All the best with ur exams babes.

said...

may your prayers be answered. amen.

Abujamaiden said...

I hope he answers. Sometimes, we can't just call him when we need him. Its like a an ex asking you for a million.

I've learnt that continuous relationship has to be there. I'm really struggling to get that strong relationship everyday so I can confidently pray and be optimistic about an answer.

Goodluck with exams.

Tiwa said...

aw that was such as honest prayer as somebody before me said. I kinda get that you want to know God before you love him and then need him..cuz its more logical asin the way ull love another person ad it makes it seem less like u're just using him but regardless, we always need him cuz we just do..knowing God is a process you can never fully know him but little by little he'll reveal himself to you(if you seek him) and I pray that you get a manifestation of his love..because its such an overwhelming love that you can't help but love him back for loving you so much

good luck in ur exams sweetie!!

Chari said...

*sigh....

the cry of my heart...