31.5.09

STOP...PLEASE

Now let me just point out that a lot of people will disagree with me and that's fine

but

please please please

i am SICK and TIRED of people constantly berating other people for the amount of culture they choose to exhibit

A Nigerian magazine had an Indian person on the cover- guess what? India's latest vogue has a black (non-Indian) person on the cover- as in seriously- covers are for people who inspire- and yes in a huge country we have more than enough people that inspire- but by denying that there are successful people from other nationalities that we can imbibe? is that not doing the exact same thing we berate of the Western world??

Dare likes non-Nigerian/ Asian/ whatever type of babe in his video- SO WHAT? how do you know his wife has not said 'babes i don't want any fine naija stuvs in your video o- ill be more comfortable if she wasn't'. And i'm sorry but African men preferring white women is belittling black women? what? If a black guy tells me I'm not good enough for him by virtue of the fact that I'm black- i will find one that doesn't- I'm not going to be scared that when my daughter is born- she is going to hate the colour of her skin. Let's be honest- black women come with certain traits- (I'm generalising here because not everyone is the same)- what if the guy wants something simpler? What if he wants someone to look at him as funny and witty and adoration (and trust me- I've seen babes in my uni with white girls when black girls are like 'hell no- i can never..') so the guy should go home and cry? By restricting himself- isn't he doing the exact same things we accuse the westerners of doing

So a good number of us school abroad. Have we not in essence told Nigerian universities 'I'm sorry but i want something better'- so what? people in Nigerian universities should feel inferior?

My point is- there isn't always a black and white- we won't always agree on issues dealing with interaction with the western world- which we struggle to make ourselves a part of..

So PLEASE- STOP shoving your opinions down our throats- be open minded. Just because you think something does not mean it's the only right- There are a thousand views on anything- accept that your opinions are your opinions- NOT the TRUTH!!

So as a general last minute pointer- i did NOT take sides- i pointed out that we should always look at a well rounded view of things and respect other people's opinions and my examples just show that there is usually more than one side to the story- so please if you are not going to give a constructive comment- then click the ex at the top right hand of your screen. This is not a war call or a personal attack on anyone.

*PS- isn't the weather amazing? Oxford Street was actually empty today- everyone having fun in the park no doubt*

xxo

17 comments:

Sting said...

LOL.... u took sides. I just thought it was funny when u made that comment cos the side u took was evident.

Can't we all just get along, and agree to disagree? To be honest, this is not an issue i am passionate about or even chose to be aware of (b4 now), but i don't think it's fair that someone shouldn't be allow to express themselves on blogsville without everyone jumping down their throat.

I say this in without any acrimony, but u r like the third or fourth person doing a post about this and i think everyone should be allowed to be themselves on blogsville. Shikena.

flabby said...

Sting-I didn't take sides- I pointed out the possible altenatives to the theories

And I think everyone has a right to be expressive- however to do so respectfully-to say that this is my own point of view as opposed to 'this is right' and everyone else is wrong

That's the entire point of my post

xo

Tairebabs said...

This Dare's video apparently has starred a lot of criticism on a lot of blogs. I read on one blog that he had used 3 foreign women in his past 3 videos. After reading that fact, I have to say that I am not really surprised he is being criticized for this (This does not necessarily mean I agree with all the criticism).

I am sure I would also have criticized him for his continual use of foreign women but if I look at his choice in comparism with schooling abroad and not in naija, then I think I am equally as guilty. Then again, some people could argue that we school abroad because the standards are higher and more availability of comparative studies etc. What would that mean in terms of Dare's videos.

Sting said...

I agree with u having an issue with "this is right and everyone else is wrong". I have an issue with that also, and i have expressed those thoughts/opinions to the originator of this controversy (on another issue).

I think in time she will learn how to get her point across without alienating people.

flabby said...

LOL
Maybe he feels like the quality of girls r higher when they are not Nigerian
Point is- I have no idea and honestly I'm not too concerned

I was just using the issue as an example of how his actions can mean many things


Sting- there isn't just one issue originator- the whole magazine thing was from another blog entirely.

Xxx

Nice Anon said...

This issue again?

flabby said...

LOL
Apparently it's an issue that has been played out!

leggy said...

i cant believe u guys are taking a mere entry in a blog to this extent...thats not good.u guys shouldnt have written a whole blog about it...wat i always say to people..if u dnt like something stop readin it and close that page or stop watching it...or y didnt u just comment and leave it at that?!

na wa oh...anyway,i dnt even know y dare is causing all these qualms hes not even all that,most nigerians dont even know him,i mean if its my lovers like faze,d'banj or psquare u guys are talking about.ill understand the qualms but dare kee?

y cant we all just get along?!!

flabby said...

Leggy I'm assuming that u think my entire post is based on one blog- it's not

flabby said...

And pls re-read my post or read my earlier comments to understand what my post is really about- it is not an attack and it's not about Dare-it's about respect for all views!

leggy said...

lol...if u say so..i just didnt think the first persn hu even started writing abt sugar bellys blog shld have.thats y blogville is a family we say wat we think and shld be respected for it.

flabby said...

Leggy- u ignored everything im my post that didn't relate to sugabelly
And u summed up my point pretty well 'respect'- we should all state our opinions respectfully and be open to other ideas- that's why we are posting on the Internet in the first place- isn't it?

X

leggy said...

lol...okay oh.case dismissed.
kiss on the left cheek
kiss on the right cheek
shake hands
and off i am!!

kay9 said...

LOL!!! Sour grapes. Sour, sour grapes. Damn, chill out already, people!

First Sugabelly starts a fire;
Then Juiceegal replies. Now, this.

Me, i aint gat shit to say; issues like this don't even deserve a post on my blog.

BTW, naija shawty has coined a new term: "nigerianist"; i don't know what it means, but i'm sure she'll tell you if you ask her. Teeheehee

Dee Brighton said...

preach!!
totally feel you on this.. who cares if Dare likes indian abi whatever race girls?? people look too deeply into certain things that are truly irrelevant.

Sugabelly said...

Just going to point something out.

Education and the Access to Knowledge in the West IS better than the Access to Knowledge in Nigeria because for the most part Nigerian universities have been allowed to decay.

I don't know about you, but I definitely do not go to school abroad because I want to show off. If I could use magic I would be in Nigeria right now comfortably but I also know that if I go to school in America I will have greater access to free unrestricted knowledge about anything under the sun than if I go to school in Nigeria.

For example, I never learned a word of Igbo history all my life in Nigeria (and I did Igbo when I went to Federal in Jos), but all the amazing Igbo history I have discovered and am now immersing myself into, I discovered in America.

Would I have found all this information in Nigeria? No. Is there more information on random shit in America? Yes.

An Indian woman on the other hand, is not intrinsically better than a Nigerian woman. As long as they both have all the necessary organs to constitute a female human being then they are intrinsically equal.

While everyone has their preferences and I am totally supportive of interracial dating, I also recognize that we are grouped along national, tribal, and colour lines.

All people recognize these groupings and all people promote their own. I'm just saying yo. It's like waking up one morning with the strong suspicion that everyone in your family greatly prefers your best friend to you. While you are both girls and pretty much the same, your family owes you their loyalty and for them to put your friend's welfare before yours just isn't right.

So... in conclusion.. am I saying that Black men should not find Indian women attractive? No. I am saying that Black men should find ALL women at least marginally attractive and whether they individually prefer one colour over the other, they should not go about their preferences in such a way that gives the impression that Black women are a tribe of gorillas undeserving of love.

Hey, I've dated Nigerians, I've dated white guys but I have never made either group feel that they are worthless or that the other group is greatly superior to them. Because the truth is, noone is better than anyone else.

Black women are already so disadvantaged in the media. It is the least Nigerian artists can do to represent Nigerian or Black women in their videos in PROMINENT roles, and it is the least Nigerian magazines can do to promote Nigerian women.

~Sirius~ said...

WAR ZONE.

To each person her own opinion.

And everybody's opinion deserves to be respected- not frowned upon.

Truth be told, there are valid points to each fact, both negative and positive.

But we really have no right to make total judgement- especially for one another.

Our judgements should be for ourselves-

All feel free to state facts, but restrain from potraying your conclusion as RIGHT.