Patience is the first step on the path of wisdom. Patience is the only step on that path. The ability to stop when you're angry and not react off that emotion. The ability to assume there's another side to the story. The ability to just wait until a viable solution to a problem comes up. Patience. I don't have it. At all. I am very very impatient. Sometimes I get so angry, my hands shake...I feel like I can see the anger. The literal red anger cloud in front of my eyes and I yell so loudly and cry and react. I feel like I HAVE to react.
I'm an eternal pessimist. Instead of projecting good and positive, I spend time imagining how bad anything can go and how painful it would be.
I want to be patient. But how? Lately i feel like i'm a little more patient. I feel like I want to say something, but I hold it off till it doesn't seem quite so important to say it anymore. My tongue must be filled with the scars of biting my tongue.My chest dark from all the negative emotion I've been suppressing. But it's ok because theres a bigger aim here.