10.1.10

I am Nigerian

I am Nigerian. I am a fraudster. My life ambition is to trick every innocent person. To deprive them of their hard earned money. Even better if they are foreign. Because I am Nigerian, it is in my blood.

I am Nigerian. I am dishonest. Don't listen to anything I tell you. Its a massive lie. Its in my blood, because I am Nigerian.

I am Nigerian. I am unintelligent. Test me extensively. Ask me to prove intensely small details before I am allowed into your country. Don't invest in extra staff training so that your minions can differentiate between the 6 month applicant who is never coming back and the multiple entry visitor who has an excellent life here and pays less taxes. I want to live in a cramped house in your cold country because I am Nigerian.

I am Nigerian. I am on the watchlist for terrorism with Iran and Yemen. I didn't grow up here. I didn't school here. I didn't become an extremist here. I didn't buy my airline ticket here. I didn't carry a bomb from here. All responsibility was claimed by those responsible. But off course, they didn't notice before,that's its in my blood because I am Nigerian.

I am Nigerian. I am an animal. I have special cramped planes-smaller seats-no leg room, to make the six hour journey across continents. That's all I need-no more than is necessary, because I am less than human, because I am Nigerian.

Treat me like dirt. Make me stand in ridiculous queues and provide unnecessary evidence. Charge me ridiculously for my plane ticket. Treat me like a lesser person. Ask me ridiculous questions. You know what? I will still worship at the foot of the foreigner. I still sell my life possessions and pay agents ridiculous sums of money to get me into a country that is not my own. Cold or hot. English speaking or not. Whether I have to be a janitor even though I have a degree. Anyone else is better than me. Anywhere else is better than here. Because I am Nigerian.

17 comments:

My world said...

Of course.....I am Nigerian.
Nice girl!

Myne Whitman said...

Very Satirical but totally true. Great write-up. It reminds me another titled Rebrand me by Sulieman.

JoaR said...

Oh wow!! This is really good.

Nice Anon said...

Very articulate and well put together.

Sugabelly said...

Sad, but true for (SOME) Nigerians.

I have never understood why so many Nigerians are simply CONVINCED that if it is foreign/from "abroad" then it MUST be better, no matter what.

People say a lot that our government is our problem, but the truth is, the mentality of most Nigerians, their low opinion of themselves, and their undeserved overly high opinion of foreigners is the true source of our downfall.

People all over the world treat us badly because we don't respect ourselves as a country. We might have individual self-respect, but we most definitely do not have collective self respect as a nation.

If we did, we would have got rid of all the old fools that are running our country into the ground, and if we did we would innovate and dream for ourselves, not because we're trying to impress foreigners. If we did we would self-promote because we honest to God really do believe that we are that good and we would hold ourselves to a higher standard because we personally require it.

But we don't. So bring on the faeces and slather it on thick. We're Nigerian, and right now we stink.

sweetness said...

I am Nigerian!
woooot woooot!!

Naija Idol said...

Really sad. :( . Nice post!

Lolia said...

Lol @ woot woot..

flabby said...

My World, Myne Whitman, JoaR, Nice anon- thank you!
Sugabelly- yeah this is definitely not true for all Nigerians, I tried to capture how we shout for dignity yet look for new ways to undignify ourselves- how we shout that we are being treated inferior, yet regard everything that is ours as inferior
Sweetness-lol
Naija Idol- thanks
Lolia- thought u left

flabby said...

My World, Myne Whitman, JoaR, Nice anon- thank you!
Sugabelly- yeah this is definitely not true for all Nigerians, I tried to capture how we shout for dignity yet look for new ways to undignify ourselves- how we shout that we are being treated inferior, yet regard everything that is ours as inferior
Sweetness-lol
Naija Idol- thanks
Lolia- thought u left

StandTall-The Activist said...

hmmmm, this just make it worse for over 100 million good nigerians. O su mi

rethots said...

Time, time, time my dear.....

~Sirius~ said...

Word!

So on point.

It's home.

And there's no place like home.

Nigeria we hail thee.

Anonymous said...

Amiable brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you as your information.

99.3.14 said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical.........................................

doll said...

i like

Anonymous said...

bEAUTIFUL