This weekend has been eventful. Firstly i was talking to Foil and somehow i told how he unnerves me. Argh..he did that low voice thing and asked me 'why'..Then went on to give me psycoanalytical stuff about how its in my head.Honestly..it IS in my head..he probably just acts normally..but i take every pause..every giggle..like its personally aimed at my own discomfort. It's gotten to me losing my appetite! It's crazy..Rollercoaster of emotions..it's quite annoying!!
Today i saw one of my heartbreak guys from last year-boy. The only thing seeing him made me remember was how it feels to be used. Thats what he did. Used me. But like my friend pointed out..I used him too. It's not like i particularly wanted a relationship with him..but what did i use him for? That's what i don't get
What's going to happen with Foil. I really don't know. What do i want to happen? I really don't know.
Oh and yesterday..someone came up to me in the grocery store and said..'you're really beautiful'..it made me day for all of 30 minutes..the i started to wonder..did someone put him up to it..does he say that to everybody?
oh..and yesterday as well..i went to see a friend. Well we've been friends for about a year..but we've actually only met in person once. So i went to see him. He cooked me lunch and we watched a dvd. There was a lot of 'physical tension'..I don't understand it. It's funny 'cos just that morning i was wondering what it was like to feel that magnetic need to kiss someone. You know those 'movie type' kisses where two of you just feel something..yadiyadiya..(cos usually i just kiss someone cos we want to..theres nothing magnetic)...now i know what it feels like and im happy i didnt act on any impulse..There's nothing like harsh-cold daylight to make you wonder..'why the hell did i do that?'