Sadness threatens to engulf me. An era of not fitting in has still not passed. I'm flitting from group to group..trying to fit in somewhere. Trying not to be the last person included in something. Self pity is disgusting. But what i feel is not self pity. It's frustration at always being the joker..the unserious one..the one with laughs..when truly..i jus want people to take me seriously. I'm not saying i don't have friends. I do. I'm not saying i don't have close friends. I do. I'm saying i'm never really part of a group dynamic. Like i have individual relationships with people that are great..etc. But as a group..i dont just seem to work. That is frustrating.
The other day i mentioned something about someone not leaving his girlfriend..even though he could have..etc..how daft was that. The point is that he's cheating!! It doesn't matter that he doesn't leave her. He's cheating!! Not once..or twice..He's cheating..Need i say more?